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Whether you love her or hate her, you have to admit that New York Times’ columnist Maureen Dowd is the Queen of last sentences. She produced another memorable closing remark in her column for the Sunday editions.

Referring to Republican Presidential hopeful  Newt Gingrich and his very focused wife Callista, a former congressional aide in the Speaker’s office, Ms. Dowd concluded:

“As the maxim goes, ‘when a man marries his mistress, he creates a job opening.’ “

Mr. Gingrich, as the entire world now knows, has been married three times.  Since I am a resident of a very fine glass house, I am not in a position to offer any moral pronouncements on that number, the timing of when he broke the news of the impending divorces to his then wives, or the reasons or phrases he might have used in discussing his future relationship plans.  I am reminded, however, of the famous, or some would say infamous, Alanta Journal-Constitution columnist , the late Lewis Grizzard, a fellow Georgian, whose marital trackrecord was equally uneven.

In a PBS interview, Mr. Grizzard reportedly was asked:

Interviewer: ”Is it true that they have signs in Atlanta that say: ‘Honk if you’ve been married to Lewis Grizzard’?”

Grizzard: ”I don’t know about that, but I can tell you I’m not against women’s liberation. I’ve liberated three of them. Can’t remember their names. I call them all ‘plaintiff.’ ”

I heard the message was actually posted on a lighted billboard on a busy freeway…

I think I will just leave it there.

© 2011 John Gregory Self

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