THE AIRPORT — As we become “seasoned members of society,” we tend to share with one another the joys – and the frustrations – of growing older. The amazing thing I have found, is that men will do this with contemporaries who they do not even know.
Here are some of my favorites:
- If you have a good idea, write it down because chances are that you will forget it inside 3 minutes. Helpful hint: don’t forget where you put your book of reminders.
- You no longer have to take your shoes off for airport screening.
- When jogging, and you are passed by some cute twenty-something with a bouncing pigtail, do not try to catch her; you won’t. Besides, if you do catch up (when she slows down to a walk), you won’t remember why you were trying to catch her in the first place.
- If you cannot find your cell phone, ballpoint pen or car keys, start by looking in your hand.
- When dressing, always, always remember to check your zipper. When a TSA officer calls it to your attention in a crowded airport security line, the laughter and smirks only add to the humiliation.
- It is a blow to your pride – and ego – when concerned young women keep stopping to ask if you need help.
- Packing in a hurry, a reasonably safe practice for 20 or 30 somethings, can be a risky option for the middle-aged: cuff link shirts are not as impressive without the cuff links; a solid blue suit coat with blue pinstripe pants and mismatched socks is frustrating but one is easier to coverup than the other; you forgot to pack underwear. (See 5 above.)
- You begin to think that a fanny pack is an essential travel companion and it really does look OK with your pinstripe suit and your NB walking shoes.
- When you fail to realize how long you have been sitting at the stop sign and a passing police officer points out that the signs says “stop” not stay there all day.
- Walking endlessly in an airport parking lot pressing the panic button on your car’s key chain in hopes of finding your vehicle, only to remember that you used a car service.